If you have been dreading the teen years of your child’s life, you are not alone. Many parents have no problem helping their children tie their shoes, ride a bike, or head off to the first day of schoolhandle early childhood without a problem, but when it comes to adolescence, they feel lost. Most people, regardless of how stable their upbringing was otherwise, experience confusion and dramatic emotions during their teen years. Teens do not always understand why they feel like they do, and once you have outgrown your teenage years, it is easy to look back wondering how you survived. Even if you remember how confusing your thoughts and feelings were, it can still be difficult to use that to relate to your child now. They may not even know, so it is impossible for you to view certain actions as anything but irrational. They are trying to find their identity and in the process, they are going to try on a lot of attitudes that may not be so appealing. You may find it difficult to trust your teen and many parents turn to methods like hair drug testing or hair follicle drug testing to find out if their teen is using illegal substances.
It is important to know if your child is taking dangerous risks with his or her body, but it is also important that you build trust with your child. You should always try talking to them before taking action, but if you believe they may cause harm to themselves, you may have to make some tough decisions.
If your concerns are not as severe as illegal substances it may feel no less frustrating to deal with. Your teen may be drinking or hanging out with the wrong crowd, and even though an adult may be able to handle drinking or rowdy crowds, teens often lack the judgment and experience to get them through challenging situations. They may have a tendency to get carried away and they may even make stupid choices just to prove they are in control of their lives.
The important thing is to understand what you and your child are going through is normal. Missteps are a part of growing up and the important thing is to offer your child enough guidance that the mistakes they make do not end up being life threatening. Set limits for your teen and allow them to push the limits but not bend them until they break.
Choosing your battles can help you keep peace and balance trust and safety. If your child does something with which you do not agree, ask yourself if it is causing harm to anyone. If the action is embarrassing or it just does not jive with your lifestyle, it should not be turned into a serious issue. You can be honest with them about your feelings, but support their choice as long as it is safe. However, if they are making dangerous choices, you need to put your foot down.

